It is the one question men have pondered throughout the ages… who would win in a fight? In this feature, “Who ya got?“, we take two people – fictional characters, historical figures, athletes, celebrities, etc. – and pit them against one another for your entertainment. We’re thoughtful like that.

Seeing as these two theatrical titans of the supernatural will fighting for top billing this summer, why not explore how they’d fare in a fight? I’m talking, of course, of Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling’s boy wonder wizard) versus Edward Cullen (Stephenie Meyer’s angsty anti-hero vampire). Who

Let’s see how they measure up:

The case for Harry Potter

Harry is a powerful wizard attending Hogwarts. His curriculum consisted of learning various spells and enchantments which included, but certainly wasn’t limited to, making things explode and turn to stone with mere words. All you and I got to learn at his age was stupid subjects like History and Algebra. Thanks, normal schools, for totally dropping the ball on that one. Jerks.

Harry also consistently fought with and eventually defeated Lord Voldemort. If you don’t know who Voldemort is imagine your school’s bully. Got him in your head? He’s a few years ahead of you in school, right? Now turn him into Darth Vader without the respiratory problems and make him hell bent on conquering the world. Oh, and give him an incredible desire to kill you (because somehow he thinks you’d get in the way his plans). Who else just crapped their pants?

Other than his usual wand, Harry also had a potent arsenal at his disposal. Being a great Quiddich player, he was handy riding a flying broom. Homoerotic double entendre aside, this means that he can rain death down upon little Edward casting spells from high up. Harry also had invisibility cloak, so that arial death could be more stealthy than most fighter jets currently in existence. I’m not saying Harry could take down most organized air forces by himself, I’m just implying it really, really strongly.

Harry’s target practice

The case for Edward Cullen

Edward is a vampire (or Vampire-American, if you’re being politically correct). In addition to the normal vampire-y abilities you’d expect like fangs and blood sucking, Edward has superhuman strength and speed. He’s reputed to be one of the fastest vampires in his clan, able to outrun his other kinsmen. Couple his strength and speed with his ability to read the minds of humans – allowing him to know what Harry’s thinking in the middle of a fight – and Edward is a force to be reckoned with.

Edward is a bit older than Harry, so he’s got the experience angle. Though he looks like the 6th ‘N Sync member, he was born in 1901. He’s lived through the Great Depression, 2 World Wars, several non-world wars, economic hardships and every other economic, political, or natural calamity from the last century. Granted he took no part in any of it but he was there, you know? That’s got to count for something, right?

Ok, if his experience isn’t going amount to much he is immune to sunlight, one stereotypical bane of vampires. That fact alone should be terrifying. It’s like saying that those tree giants in the Lord of the Rings weren’t flammable. Instead of bursting into flames, Edward’s skin sparkles in the sun. So depending on the weather, Harry could either be fighting a superhuman vampire or a superhuman disco ball with appendages. Neither of which will be much fun for Harry.

Edward Cullen on a sunny day. Scarier than it should be.
[picture not to scale]

Place your bets

So who ya got? Harry or Edward? Let us know in the comments who you think would win and why.

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