Posted by: Jonathan Baker on September 9th, 2009
It is the one question men have pondered throughout the ages… who would win in a fight? In this feature, “Who ya got?”, we take two people – fictional characters, historical figures, athletes, celebrities, etc. – and pit them against one another for your entertainment. We’re thoughtful like that.
Militaries these days haven’t been getting their exercise. Oh sure, there’s the war on terror and you hear of little skirmishes here and there. But full-on all-out conventional warfare between two established and powerful militaries has been kept to a minimum lately. So to keep their forces battle-ready, we’ve organized a little war game between the Autobots and the G.I. Joes.
Let’s see how they measure up:
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| Squad:The Autobots |
Squad:G.I. Joes |
| From: Cybertron |
From: Various locations, but all from Earth |
| Led by: Optimus Prime |
Led by: Hawk |
| Squad members:approx 61, not counting Dinobots, Junkions and a lot of other obscure Autobots listed on Wikipedia (list) |
Squad members: Approx 200 featured (list) |
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Posted by: Jonathan Baker on July 15th, 2009
It is the one question men have pondered throughout the ages… who would win in a fight? In this feature, “Who ya got?“, we take two people – fictional characters, historical figures, athletes, celebrities, etc. – and pit them against one another for your entertainment. We’re thoughtful like that.
Seeing as these two theatrical titans of the supernatural will fighting for top billing this summer, why not explore how they’d fare in a fight? I’m talking, of course, of Harry Potter (J.K. Rowling’s boy wonder wizard) versus Edward Cullen (Stephenie Meyer’s angsty anti-hero vampire). Who
Let’s see how they measure up:
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| Full name: Harry Potter |
Full name: Edward Cullen |
| Occupation: Wizard student |
Occupation: Vampire |
| Abilities: Spells, enchantments, broom flying, invisibility (cloak) |
Abilities: Superhuman speed and strength, mind reading |
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Posted by: Jonathan Baker on July 2nd, 2009
It is the one question men have pondered throughout the ages… who would win in a fight? In this feature, “Who ya got?“, we take two people – fictional characters, historical figures, athletes, celebrities, etc. – and pit them against one another for your entertainment. We’re thoughtful like that.
Today, we’ve pitted Iceman (of X-men fame) versus Sub-Zero (Mortal Kombat). Which of these cold-blooded, cold-bodied killers would win in a fight? Let’s see how they measure up:
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| Full name: Bobby “Iceman” Drake |
Full name: Sub-Zero |
| Occupation: Elite team of peacekeepers (X-men) |
Occupation: Ninja |
| Origin of powers: Genetics, mutation |
Origin of powers: Genetics, descendant of cryomancers |
| Abilities: Control cold |
Abilities: Control cold, ninja abilities |
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Posted by: Jonathan Baker on June 19th, 2009
It is the one question men have pondered throughout the ages… who would win in a fight? In this feature, “Who ya got?”, we take two people – fictional characters, historical figures, athletes, celebrities, etc. – and pit them against one another for your entertainment. We’re thoughtful like that.
Today, we have two sword-crossed femme fatales going at it: Beatrix Kiddo, from the Kill Bill movies; and Jen Yu, from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It’s your typical East-Hemisphere/West-Hemisphere rivalry. Let’s see how they measure up:
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| Full name: Beatrix Kiddo |
Full name: Jen Yu |
| As seen kicking ass in: Kill Bill vol. 1 & 2 |
As seen kicking ass in: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon |
| Trained by: Pai Mei |
Trained by: Jade Fox, Wudang manual |
| Wields: Hattori Hanzo swords |
Wields: Green Destiny |
| Main Advantage: Long resume of murder (experience) |
Main Advantage: Wire-fu (near-flight mobility) |
| Fights For: Revenge |
Fights for: Freedom from societal norms |
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Posted by: Jonathan Baker on June 8th, 2009
It is the one question men have pondered throughout the ages… who would win in a fight? In this feature, “Who ya got?“, we take two people – fictional characters, historical figures, athletes, celebrities, etc. – and pit them against one another for your entertainment. We’re thoughtful like that.
Today, we are pitting two literal giants of the food industry against one another: The Jolly Green Giant and The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. As we all know, size matters. But seeing as these are both fictitious characters, no one really mentions how big they are so we have to assume they are the same size. Who will be king of this food pyramid?
Let’s see how they measure up:
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| Full name: Jolly Green Giant |
Full name: Stay Puft Marshmallow Man |
| Mascot for: General Mills vegetables |
Mascot for: Imaginary Stay Puft brand marshmallows |
| First appearance: 1928, commercials |
First appearance: 1984, Ghostbusters |
| Promotes: Good nutrition |
Promotes: Diabetes |
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Posted by: Jonathan Baker on June 2nd, 2009
It is the one question men have pondered throughout the ages… who would win in a fight? In this feature, “Who ya got?“, we take two people – fictional characters, historical figures, athletes, celebrities, etc. – and pit them against one another for your entertainment. We’re thoughtful like that.
Today, we are pitting two of the biggest nerds to have come out of the 80’s: Screech from Saved By The Bell; and Urkel from Family Matters. These loveable misfits aren’t exactly the fighting type, to be sure, but that’s not going to stop us here. Going into this battle, a few assumptions have been made. First, we’re assuming that both combatants are equally socially awkward and equally super smart. Also, it’s a pretty safe bet that direct physical combat between the two will not only be useless, but frigging hilarious.
Let’s see how they measure up:
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| Full name: Samuel Powers |
Full name:Stephen Q. Urkel |
| Occupation: Student |
Occupation: Student |
Notable inventions:
- Kevin, Screech’s giant robot friend
- Spaghetti sauce that infringed copyrights
- Love machine
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Notable inventions:
- Teleportation device
- DNA Transformation booth, Cool Juice
- Urkel Bot
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| Woman he’s fighting for: Lisa Turtle |
Woman he’s fighting for: Laura Winslow |
| Catch phrase: “Zoiks!” |
Catch phrase: “Did I do that?” |
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