Not all summer romances have to come to an end, and now that the weather is cooling down and the leaves are turning, you have an important decision to make: Should you extend your warm weather romance? There are many considerations and, of course, your partner needs to be on the same page. It used to be that summer romances were considered fleeting because people are naturally more carefree and amorous while on vacation and also because anyone meeting on a summer vacation might be facing a long distance relationship.
These days, the idea of adults having ample vacation time in the US to even develop a summer romance is rare. Your paramour is probably living in the same region as you already. Plus, even if long distance is an issue, with the latest technology there’s Face time, video chatting, WhatsApp, texting and social media to keep the flames burning across the miles. Just because you’re gearing up to store your summer goodies doesn’t mean you need to shelve your romance, too.
Don’t wait to have the talk
If one of you is heading out of town for good, give yourself ample time to have “the talk.” You deserve to know what your partner’s thinking, and adding extra stress with a time crunch isn’t going to do anyone any favors. Be up front and transparent, because that’s what this situation deserves. Saying something like, “I really enjoy being with you, and I’m wondering where you see this going from here on it,” is a great way to start the conversation.
Today, there are many more long distance relationships that work, but that doesn’t mean it should be a given. It’s pointless if you don’t see your lives aligning again in the future without a lot of sacrifices. For example, if both parties are in college on opposite sides of the country, giving up your college experiences in order to wait for someone you’ve only known a few weeks is a poor move. If you can, stay friends and keep in touch, but don’t give up the chance of meeting someone else great just because you’re holding out for a summer fling.
When it works
If you’re lucky enough to both be sticking in town for the foreseeable future, the bigger question is whether or not your partner sees this as a fling. There can be a lot of expectations heading into the holidays. Family travel, the big New Year’s date and of course winter couple activity staples like visiting pumpkin patches and tree farms are right around the corner.
The sooner you have the talk, the sooner you can start planning for the rest of 2014 (with or without your partner).