Normally, I’m not one to buy into trends. But right now, zombies are trending in a big way. They’re all over television and movies, and they’ve even invaded “Pride and Prejudice…(and zombies)”. And, with the unfortunate inception of zombie-creating drug “bath salts”, I’m willing to say that it’s better to be safe than sorry on this one. It’s official – I’m getting my survival strategy down.
- Pack a “bug out bag”
This is a serious thing. There are many Youtube videos dedicated to various types of bug-out bags and kits (urban, wilderness, pocket…zombie). This is usually some sort of sturdy backpack that includes basics like first aid kits, water, a fire source, knives, sometimes food, machetes, and anti-zombie repellent (just kidding). So, this would ideally be something to do in advance, but if that’s not possible grab a backpack, shove everything in it, and…
- Run
Fast. As fast as humanely possible. Get to high ground, and possibly climb up on things (it’s rumored that zombies can’t climb very well – my rock climbing skills will come into good use here!) Now, don’t just run randomly and in a panic – tighten up the straps on that bug-out bag and head to…
- Costco.
Or Wal-mart. Why? Because they have everything, and lots of it. Food, water, clothing, weapons (for that bug-out bag) and if there’s enough people, they would be relatively easy to fortify against the zombies. Lots of places to climb, as well. But don’t hang out in the super-store indefinitely. Grab some gear and, when possible, start for…
- Cold weather
That’s right. Physically, the zombies can’t survive in the cold. They freeze because the blood isn’t circulating. They just turn into zombie-cicles. Which, while that doesn’t sound at all appetizing, it does sound slightly less death-causing than warm zombies. And, whether fighting frozen zombies or warm zombies, it’s important to…
- Stick together
There’s strength in numbers, remember. And the zombies will definitely have numbers on their side, so keeping together is paramount. Now, obviously, don’t stick with dead weight, but rather with people who have bad-ass skills and the will to survive. Group work means rotating shifts and more people to take down the zombies. And it’s a good idea if everyone in the group…
- Plays to their strengths
Good at cooking? Wonderful. A natural-born leader? Hop to it. Brute strength? Build the shelter. Everyone has special talents, and when on the run from zombies, it’s no time to be vain. Everyone gets a task, and everyone does that task to the best of their zombie-fighting ability, no matter where the group is stationed, because, remember to…
- Keep it moving
Zombies might not be smart, but don’t become sitting ducks for them. Fresh meat, after all, is hard to resist. Even if the group has made it to cold climates, don’t stay in the Canadian Costco forever. Don’t move recklessly, obviously, but don’t get too comfortable. Constant vigilance, my friends. Stay safe and beat the zombies!
