Believe it or not this is a brand new commercial. Granted it’s brand new to Japan and they probably don’t know that the accompanying soundtrack is over 25 years old (but still so awesome). I don’t know if I could put together a cooler mix of “American” for our good friends across the Pacific.

This is for McDonald’s new line of Big America burgers and this particular ad features The Texas Burger. A delicious concoction topped with mustard-relish, barbecue sauce, bacon, cheese, and crispy fried onions on top and separated by the middle bun more barbecue sauce, onions, and bacon. This beast is worthy of our Will They Build It? series.

At ¥400 to ¥420 ($4.38 to $4.60) a piece, this badboy helped McDonald’s Japan break their single day sales record of ¥2.8 billion, about $30.7 million. Damn. I just wish I could get something like it here.

How many times have you stepped out from Victoria’s Secret or Abercrombie and Fitch, hands loaded with bags, legs weary from walking and a stomach that’s beginning to sound like Chewbacca? Just when you’re about to give up and dive into a full-blown Kanye West tantrum you eye the oasis that is…..the Food Court. You wade through the teenie-boppers, the goths, the skaters, the soccer moms, the cougars and then you’re hit with the dilemma…where do I eat? Worry no more lone shopper, you have been saved. Follow this handy flowchart and you’ll be back out there stimulating the economy in no time. You don’t need travel brochures to find lunch!

You may also enjoy our other flowcharts:
Fast Food
Cereal
Chain Restaurant
Beer
Freezer Aisle
Candy
Produce Aisle
Soda
Vending Machine

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Disclosure: http://cmp.ly/3

Where: Arby’s
What: Beef ‘n Cheddar, Ham Melt, Roast Chicken Club and Chicken Fillet Sandwich
Cost: $7.42
Success: Yes!

Previous Will They Build Its?
Taco Bell (Nacho Cheesy Blackjack Volcano Gordita Crunch)
McDonald’s (Big McSausage Egg Surf & Turf Mac)
Burger King (Double Bacon Rodeo State Fair Cheeseburger) – Featured on Conan O’Brien

At a measly 1,220 calories this is the lightest of the WTBI bunch but it also packs the most protein with a staggering 97 grams!  This is essentially a Beef ‘n Cheddar, Ham Melt, Roast Chicken Club and Chicken Fillet Sandwiches all combined into one tasty treat. Feast your eyes on the fabulous Arby’s Every Animal on the Farm Sandwich!

If you’ve missed the previous episodes of this intriguing series you can see our write-ups below. It’s actually a pretty entertaining show. If you’re unfamiliar with the competition BBQ circuit, which I’m assuming you are, take a minute to read through the first 3 episodes to get acquainted.

BBQ Pitmasters Episode 1 Smokin’ in Mesquite Nevada Open BBQ Championships
BBQ Pitmasters Episode 2 Murphysboro Barbecue Cook-off
BBQ Pitmasters Episode 3 Decatur Riverfest Cook Off

This episode was the American Royal Invitational held in Kansas City, Missouri. It has been called  “the Super Bowl of Swine” by some. To be eligible you must won Grand Champion in at least one event the year prior.  The total at stake is $10,000 and there are 124 competitors.

Due to the fact that it’s an invitational, understandably Paul Peterson was not an entrant. However, he took this opportunity to be schooled by the great Johhny Trigg and join Smokin’ Triggers for this competition. A wise move on his part and actually quite an enduring team the two made. It seems like Paul really took the chance to get inside the head of Johnny a learn from a master. I found him to be genuine in his interest to learn.

It was fun to watch Myron and Chris Lilly of Big Bob Gibson BBQ go at it a bit. The nice thing is that Chris can hold his own with Myron which isn’t the case with others sometimes.

You’re starving and hopefully you’ve got a few small bills or some change in your pocket. You round the corner and to your delight there stands a gorgeous black machine with a glass window to stomach bliss. What’s it going to be mate…B6…..D9? Fret not mon fraire for we here at Top Cultured have taken (most of) the guess work out of it for you. Follow this handy flowchart to sweet or savory, delights.

You may also enjoy our other flowcharts:
Fast Food
Cereal
Chain Restaurant
Beer
Freezer Aisle
Candy
Produce Aisle
Soda

[click image to view larger version]

We know that they’ll deep-fry anything and that deep frying butter will make you dance but now from the wunderkinds at Turkey Hill comes the ever so tasty sounding Fried Ice Cream. Per their blog it is a limited edition flavor that will be available in late April for some and early May for others.

What is is you ask? That is a good question…cinnamon ice cream swirled with cinnamon sopapilla and sweet tostada pieces. Man do I want that right now or what…looks like I’ll be waiting about couple months.

I can officially now die a happy man. A creation of mine has been mentioned by Conan O’Brien on The Tonight Show. I hate to be the one to outshine Michael Cera (the secondary guest) but someone had to do it.

Mr. O’Brien speaks of the fabled Burger King Double Bacon Rodeo State Fair Cheeseburger from our Will They Build It? Series. Our other attempts have been the Taco Bell Nacho Cheesy Blackjack Volcano Gordita Crunch and the McDonald’s Big McSausage Egg Surf & Turf Mac. Make sure to check back in this week to see the next in the series. There was also are Burger King Whooper Windows 7 Burger Hacked & Unlocked.

He mentions the site www.diefattydie.com and I would love to have that domain but sadly it’s taken. Without further ado….my 15 seconds of fame:

So we’ve looked at the Top Seinfeld Food Related Episodes, George’s Top 20 Seinfeld Food Related Moments and Jerry’s Top 20 Seinfeld Food Related Moments. Here is the last in our series and we end it with a bang. Here’s to Kramer’s best food related moments, enjoy!

Smoking and drinking beer at the same time.
“The Sniffing Accountant” – Season 5 Episode 4

The burger aficionados over at A Hamburger Today have been doing weekly polls on what eaters want in a burger. Here are some them so far:

What’s your favorite side dish to go with a burger?
What’s your favorite patty thickness?
How do you like your buns done?
What’s your favorite burger bun?
What’s your favorite burger-cooking method?
What type of mustard is best on a burger?
What’s your favorite burger size?
What drink goes best with a burger?
What cheese do you like most on your burger?
What condiments do you like on your burger?
How do you like your burgers cooked?

We’ve taken the data (with their permission of course, thanks guys!), crunched the numbers and have come up with the perfect burger…and also what would presumably be the least appetizing burger. Not sure how you’re going to accomplish that deep-fried 1 1/2 inch thick rare burger but I know I wouldn’t want to try it. What makes the perfect burger and meal to you?

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