Real men eat breakfast, there’s no question about it…and for some of us its the biggest meal of the day. Whether you’re eating a big ass pile of bacon….or chugging down a glass of 15W40, these breakfasts will be sure to get you started in the right way. I think Grandpa Gustafson put it best:

Sometimes the use of a comma or a period greatly changes the meaning of a sentence. This is a hilarious note left by a loving girlfriend informing her significant other of his waiting lunch time feast….although with her running out of commas and all, it changes the feast into a full blown party!

…speaking of party, what are you doing for your LOST series finale party?

The genius beverage brewers at Jones Soda have done it again. They’ve just released possibly the coolest themed sodas to-date (maybe second to Buzz Cola), the new Dungeons & Dragons variety pack. They have 6 new flavors: Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer, Sneak Attack, Potion of Healing, Illithid Brain Juice, Dwarven Draught and Eldritch Blast. They come in a six-pack for $10.99 or a twelve-pack for $18.99.

How cool is that? I’ve never tried their other themed packs like Thanksgiving (Turkey & Gravy, Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto, Cranberry, Wild Herb Stuffing and Pumpkin Pie) or Halloween (Candy Corn, Strawberry S’lime, Scary Berry Lemonade, Caramel Apple, Spider Cider, Berried Alive & Gruesome Grape) but I have been waiting since the sweet age of 12 to try a little Potion of Healing. Has anyone tried these yet…how do they taste?

Congrats to our winners of the Cold Stone Creamery Giveaway.

First Place – $50 in Cold Stone gift cards
Crystal – Her favorite creation is Sinless Sweet Cream with peanut butter.

Second Place – $25 in Cold Stone gift cards and polo shirt
Andrea – Her favorite creation is Caramel Turtle Fudge.

Third Place – $25 in Cold Stone gift cards
Peg – Her favorite creation is Black Forest Chocolate with Cherry pie filling.

Those all sound incredible and I think I may just need to head down to the local CSC and try all three….damn you people, you’re making my waistline bigger with all your tasty suggestions. A couple of my favorites from other commentators were:

“Black Forest Dream”: A miasma of Chocolate Ice Cream, Chewy Fudge Brownie, Sweet and slightly tart Cherry Pie Filling, and Chocolate Sauce, well-mixed and thrust into a Hand-Crafted Chocolate-Dipped Waffle Bowl.”

“Banana Caramel Crunch w/ Cake Batter. I do like it 1/2 Cake Batter and 1/2 Oatmeal Cookie Batter.”

“Peanut Butter Cup Perfection with half chocolate and half peanut butter ice cream, peanut butter cups, peanut butter, and chocolate syrup (never hurts though when they throw in an extra peanut butter cup).”

Yo, yo, yo…big ups to Cold Stone…they saw our Will They Build It? post and video and loved it so much that they’ve given us gift cards to give to our readers. How awesome is that! Who wouldn’t want free ice cream?

First place will receive $50 in Cold Stone Creamery gift cards, second place will receive $25 gift card and a polo shirt and third place will receive a $25 gift card.There are two ways to enter the contest. The first way it to retweet the following:

I want free ice cream from @TopCultured & @ColdStone_Corp http://bit.ly/9188At (RT to enter)

The second way is to leave a comment below with your favorite Cold Stone Creamery creation.  The winners will be selected at random. The contest will be open until Friday (May 14th) evening at 11:59 PM. You can enter as many times as you’d like so Tweet away until you can’t Tweet any more and the only thing that will ease the strain is a nice big Gotta Have It size of their new Strawberry Cheesecake creation or next month’s Chocolate Peanut Butter creation!

Mmmmmmmmm…….how damn good do these look…*drool*

Where: Cold Stone Creamery
What: 1 quart Sweet Cream ice cream, 1 Quart Oreo Cream Filling ice cream, 1 scoop of every mix-in and topping they have!
Cost: $25.00
Success: Yes!

Previous Will They Build Its?
Taco Bell (Nacho Cheesy Blackjack Volcano Gordita Crunch)
McDonald’s (Big McSausage Egg Surf & Turf Mac)
Burger King (Double Bacon Rodeo State Fair Cheeseburger) – Featured on Conan O’Brien
Arby’s (Every Animal on the Farm Sandwich)
Long John Silver’s (Deep-fried Bottom of the Sea Wrap)
KFC & Krispy Kreme (Fried Chicken Luther Double Down)
Will They Build It? KFC (Elvis Double Down Sandwich)

We absolutely love Cold Stone…but they have one intrinsic flaw, they offer too much. Not that it’s really a flaw but it’s always too much of a brain strain to decide what to order. We’re the guys that end up holding up the entire line trying to decide what we’re going to get. We’re also the guys that joke every time that we should just order all the mix-ins in one sundae…wait…why not? Let’s see if they will build a sundae with ALL the mix-ins.

Another problem…they have three sizes, the Like It, Love It or Got To Have It. Those just aren’t going to suffice. They also have the take home containers of Mine, Ours and Everybody’s….I think we’ll take an Everybody’s with every thing you’ve got please.

Now you maybe be asking yourself “What does the Every Topping Under The Sun-dae include?” First you start off with 1 quart of Sweet Cream ice cream, 1 quart of Oreo Cream Filling ice cream…and now you add the goodies…

40 mix-ins in all!!!

Now that we’ve gotten them to build it let’s dig in. Wait, wait, wait…hold on a second…what if he have someone attempt to eat this delicious, ooey gooey, sweet mountain of mother lovin’ sugar-coma inducing monstrosity solo. Is there such a man that exists? Surely one of us will step forward, but who? Let me introduce to you people of the internets, Tony Richards, the man, the myth, nay, the Legend. Will They Build It? has now become…

Will They Eat It?…..

UPDATE: We’re giving away free ice cream!

Wheaties is the “Breakfast of Champions” but bullets are the “Breakfast of Men”. I’m pretty sure that this is what Chuck Norris eats first thing every morning and ends up producing this result. The only thing you might need to add is a healthy drizzle of 15W-40.

…speaking of real men…how about drinking 1/2 keg of beer in one sitting.

of course there’s always this hearty meal too: a crap load of eggs, a shit ton of bacon, beer, a knife and goddamned gun!

Man…if the British were this much fun back in 1775 then I think we would have gladly welcomed them to our shores. Did you even know there was a Cadbury Icecreamland?

Every year Cadbury Icecreamland surpass themselves in providing unique and thrilling environments for their lolly-licking patrons and aficionados.

Their latest jape is to challenge fans to eat a Cadbury Flake 99 ice cream upside-down on a rollercoaster at speeds of over 40mph and pulling over 3Gs – and then repeat the same feat going backwards whilst being splattered in a veritable blizzard of Cadbury ice cream.

Gaze on in breathless amazement as our indefatigable fans rise to the perilous challenge of the ultimate white-out-knuckle ride. Buckle up boys and girls and get your wet wipes ready…things are about to get very messy.

Where: Kentucky Fried Chicken
What: KFC Fried Chick Double Down, Toast, Jif Creamy Peanut Butter & Banana
Cost: $9.54
Success: Yes! (sort of…you can see the official WTBI criteria here)

Previous Will They Build Its?
Taco Bell (Nacho Cheesy Blackjack Volcano Gordita Crunch)
McDonald’s (Big McSausage Egg Surf & Turf Mac)
Burger King (Double Bacon Rodeo State Fair Cheeseburger) – Featured on Conan O’Brien
Arby’s (Every Animal on the Farm Sandwich)
Long John Silver’s (Deep-fried Bottom of the Sea Wrap)
KFC & Krispy Kreme (Fried Chicken Luther Double Down)

We just couldn’t stop at the KFC & Krispy Kreme Fried Chicken Luther Double Down Sandwich…we knew there was just one more in this beast…so we had to take the innate awesomeness of the KFC Double Down and the artery clogging Elvis Burger and combine the two (producing something on the level the spawn of David Beckham and Posh Spice) and summon the KFC Elvis Fried Chicken Double Down. I think the King would be proud. Admittedly this is probably all we (and I’m sure you too) and take of the whole Double Down madness. So here she is in all her glory:

Where: Kentucky Fried Chicken and Krispy Kreme
What: KFC Fried Chick Double Down (with extra Colonel’s Sauce) & Krispy Kreme Glazed Doughnut
Cost: $6.09
Success: Yes! (sort of…you can see the official WTBI criteria here)

Previous Will They Build Its?
Taco Bell (Nacho Cheesy Blackjack Volcano Gordita Crunch)
McDonald’s (Big McSausage Egg Surf & Turf Mac)
Burger King (Double Bacon Rodeo State Fair Cheeseburger) – Featured on Conan O’Brien
Arby’s (Every Animal on the Farm Sandwich)
Long John Silver’s (Deep-fried Bottom of the Sea Wrap)

With all the KFC Double Down hype recently (from the Double Double Down to the Quad Down and more) we knew we had to one-up all the madness that is this meat monster of a sandwich. What to do? Well the choice is obvious. Take the infamous Double Down and the fabled Luther Burger and make the KFC & Krispy Kreme Fried Chicken Luther Double Down Sandwich.

So what you’ve got here is one tasty mother of a sandwich that starts with a half Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut, extra Colonel’s Sauce (gotta get in those added calories where you can), fried chicken breast, Colonel’s Sauce, cheese slice, bacon, cheese slice, fried chicken breast and other half doughtnut.

What you end up with is over 900 calories of tongue flipping delight. This thing will not only supply you with enough calories, sodium, sugar and fat for a good part of your day it will keep you up and running for a bit. The inevitable afternoon crash was not the best though…as there is now a brick in the belly. I do highly recommend you give this a shot though. I know it sounds far fetched but it’s actually quite delicious.

Step 1: Hit up the the KFC and Krispy Kreme conveniently located in the same parking lot

Step 2: Purchase KFC Double Down and Krispy Kreme Glazed Doughnut through the drive-thru (no need burning calories when you’ll be consuming so many)

Step 3: Speed home in delight with your treasures

Step 4: Slice glazed doughnut in half and invert

Step 5: Remove Double Down and place on bottom “bun”

Step 6: Add extra Colonel’s Sauce and add top “bun”

Step 7: Consume the wonder that is the Luther Double

Step 8: Have a mouth-gasm!