While few of us will ever be as cool as Han Solo or as powerful as Jabba the Hut, we at least have the ability to have our steaks cooked like the do (did) on Alderaan.

Thanks to the creative geniuses at ThinkGeek, you too can have your very own Slave Leia apron. Make sure to flip the Wookie steaks often or else they get a little chewy.

It’s important for everyone to eat healthy, especially if you have a limited diet. You want to be sure that you’re taking in the recommended vitamins and minerals to keep you strong. These rules apply not only to us mere mortals, but believe it or not, even to those that might find themselves roaming as the living dead. This is essential information for you to have and know in the case that you may be amongst this class soon enough…I mean 2012 is just around the corner.

This is just genius marketing if you ask me. I know I’d be all over that, even if I wasn’t in the mood for ground beef. I’d have to buy it no matter what. Way to go mystery Kroger butcher who loves his video games, way to go.

Somethings about being overweight are actually advantageous. One of those would be the ability to conceal merchandise within places that someone smaller might not have available. If you were a large person, these might be some of the areas you could do such a thing. Kind of makes me want to go on a month long McGriddles bender so that I have this ability.

You don’t have to do anything special to get me to down an entire tub of gelato, but if you did, this would certainly work. I am a huge fan of the Simpsons and everything and anything that comes from Evergreen Terrace, or Springfield for that matter. And lord knows I’ll knock down doors for anything gelato, ice cream or soft serve related. I can only image what would happen if you put the two together, well…you’d get this of course. But if I were anywhere near this it would look like an Kirstie Alley had stumbled upon a free all-you-can-eat pork rib buffet.

This must be for all those stay-at-home moms. Once the kids leave it’s time to get down to business. Good to see that the local liquor store knows their demographics. This is sure to bring out all the wine-os. If I were a Cougar I’d hopping in my SUV and Blackberrying my whole pride to grab a few bottles.

If you haven’t already done you’re pumpkin carving for tonight don’t fret. Think you don’t have the time, think again. As you can see it takes no less than a few minutes to have the perfect Jakk-O-Lantern. Listen to Hickok45!

Halloween rules! Free candy, hot girls dressing provocatively, and costume parties. Sometimes however, the costume parties suck, ugly girls trick you by dressing all hot, and neighbors give out the nastiest candy on Earth. So, because of that, here they are… the 11 “treats” you pray you don’t get this Halloween.

1. Goddamn Good & Plenty – What kid wants to put a piece of poisoned plastic in their mouth? Answer: none. Also, why name your candy “Good & Plenty” when most people think its gross and offensive?

source: elle.com

So Mr. Ochocino just released a new cereal called OchocincO’s, awesome. Also, some of the proceeds from sales are going to go to Feed The Children, even more awesome. There is even a phone number on the box for you to call and donate further if you care to. What’s the problem then? Seems the number was printed incorrectly and the number leads to a sex hotline. Oops!

Child please!

The phone number should have been 1-888-HELP-FTC (435-7382) but was printed as an 800 number instead. If you give it a ring you’ll hear the following, “You must be 18 or older to get into this party, baby,” before the sexy woman asks for a credit card number.

Chad tweeted about it saying:

Awe man im bummed about the cereal number mixup on the cereal, trying to do good and got messed up, of all numbers why that one!!! Sorry.

For those who were offended by the mixup my deepest apologies but i was only bringing awareness to a charity that im a huge part of, SORRY.

Apparently the error was reported by a family whose 9-year old daughter called the number in speakerphone. The current boxes are being pulled from supermarket shelves and will be reprinted with the correct numbers.

Chad apologized for the X-rated mistake on Thursday. “I take the blame and apologize to everyone affected,” he said. ”It’s almost like it was supposed to happen,” he added, explaining he hoped the headlines will help boost donations to Feed the Children. Let’s hope Mr. 85, let’s hope so.