Heesa Phadie

George’s Top 20 Seinfeld Food Related Moments

Posted By: on December 29, 2009

Last week I brought you the Top 15 Seinfeld Food Related Episodes over at Eating the Road. Seinfeld is chock full of many other hilarious food related moments that aren’t necessarily the entire plot. From Jerry’s love of cereal to their frequent dining at Monk’s food is practically the fifth cast member.

Well now over here at Top Cultured we’ll continue delving-in to all those hilarious moments. We’re going to take a look at some of the all-time best and we’ll start with the top from George (a few from Elaine too). Stay tuned for the best from Jerry and Kramer. Now grab a pastrami on rye, sit back, relax and enjoy.

George eats the eclair from the trash.
“The Gymnast” – Season 6 Episode 6

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Heesa Phadie

What Should I Eat? Produce Aisle Edition (Flowchart)

Posted By: on December 28, 2009

You may have seen Eating the Road’s previous flowcharts:
Fast Food
Chain Restaurant
Freezer Aisle

Well Eating the Road is now going to be posting as Heesa Phadie over here at Top Cultured. You’ll find the same great content just at this new home. This week we bring you the New Years apropos healthy Produce Aisle Flowchart. We get you to the food leaving you only to decide whether or not that cantaloupe is ripe or those avocados are too squishy. Eat away my friends, eat away. Oh…and be sure to add me on Twitter @HeesaPhadie!

[click the flowchart below to enlarge]

What Should I Eat - Produce Aisle

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TopCultured Legends

The Many Dangers of Natural Gas

Posted By: on May 21, 2011

From contaminated water to hazardous emissions, the dangers associated with the “cleaner” natural energy source are starting to become more evident. Then, there’s the whole “it can freakin’ blow up at any time” aspect that Read On »

Breakup Breakdown

Posted By: on December 29, 2010

Normally these online shorts about mid-late-20-somethings are pretty lame. There are the occsional good one, I tend to like Jake and Amir, but for the most part they’re a dime a dozen and not only Read On »

Stalley Reps Ohio’s New Era

Posted By: on August 22, 2013

Regardless of his location, recording artist Stalley reps his home in Cleveland, Ohio with a New Era cap. Signed to Atlantic Records, he shows his style with an Indian’s Chief Wahoo, Crooked C or Block Read On »

Dutch Mechanic


Posted By: on December 24, 2009

I love it when life imitates art, or in this case, cheesy 90′s commercials that actually rule. Who doesn’t love the kool-aid guy?

oh yeaahh

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Evol Jess

Now, That’s A Classy Wedding!

Posted By: on December 22, 2009

There’s classy weddings and then there’s CLASSY weddings. This one is right up there with the classiest of all. In fact, it’s pretty practical considering they were probably having McDonalds cater the wedding with a buffet line of chicken nuggets, french fries, cheeseburgers, and apple pies for dessert. Classy!

Thanks to @Bridepop for sending the pic. More ridiculous crap to waste your time with here.

married at mcdonalds

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Heesa Phadie

What Should I Eat? Candy Edition (Flowchart)

Posted By: on December 21, 2009

Happy Holidays to everyone out there. I hope you enjoy it with family and friends. What better thing to have during those endless parties and gatherings but a delicious piece of candy. The only problem is standing in the candy aisle with all those options staring right back at you. Ever since you first set eyes on the row after row of delectable treats as a child you’ve had this problem. Well we here at Eating The Road have taken the hard work out of it for you. Follow this handy flowchart to sweet bliss. The only thing you’ll have to decide now is whether or not it’s okay to flirt with your hot cousin that’s coming over for the family Christmas Eve dinner.

You may also enjoy our other flowcharts:
Fast Food
Chain Restaurant
Freezer Aisle
Produce Aisle

(click picture to enlarge)What Should I Eat - Candy

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Ryan Deal

Proof That Anything Can Be Deep Fried

Posted By: on December 19, 2009

What’s better than bacon? Deep fried bacon, that’s what! But why would someone deep fry bacon? Why not. Here’s a whole bunch of other foods people deep fried that you’d think wouldn’t ever be deep fried.

Next thing I’m frying is these guys.

1. Deep Fried Poptart

deep fried poptart

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Heesa Phadie

BBQ Pitmasters Episode 3 Decatur Riverfest Cook Off

Posted By: on December 19, 2009

The third episode of BBQ Pitmasters is another KCBS, the Alabama state championship at the Decatur Jaycees Riverfest. There are a total of 59 competitors competing in chicken, ribs, pork and brisket for a grand total of $19,000. If you missed the first to episodes, here is a rundown (Episode 1 has a bio on the cooks):

Episode 1 – Smokin’ in Mesquite Nevada Open BBQ Championship
Episode 2 – Murphysboro Barbecue Cook-off

TLC is following 7 total cooks (Jambo Pitts has yet to be on the show) but they seem willy-nilly on who they care to show each week. I assume Myron will be in each episode due to his mouth and attitude as will LeAnn for her sex appeal but the others are here-and-there. This week Paul, Tuffy and Johnny were all featured a little but there was no sign on Harry.

Since he didn’t get to be on this episode I’m share some stuff from him. Harry Soo’s blog has a few interesting tidbits, they “dodged 14 radar traps, 3 border patrol checkpoints, and pouring rain, to complete our three-day, 2,100 mile Iron-Butt drive through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Arkansas, Tennessee, and Mississippi, and arrived at the Riverfest contest site in Decatur, Alabama.”

He mentions the dinner that Chris Lily’s Big Bob Gibson restaurant threw the night before the contest for all the cooks where they dined on seared giant scallops wrapped in BBQ brisket, bacon wrapped shrimp with basil mousse, BBQ gumbo , crispy fried okra, cranberry Caesar salad, grilled rack of lamb, Big Bob Gibson BBQ chicken and for dessert, lemon, peanut butter, chocolate, and coconut pies.

One of the more interesting things he brings up is how all the TLC BBQ Pitmasters chefs were sectioned off separately from the remaining 52 other chefs in the competition. Harry says that they were on a paved surface whereas the others were all on the grass. Considering it was raining pretty heavily I would take this as an advantage. That doesn’t quite seem fair to me and I would be upset if I were in the contest but I can understand them needing this for the filming.

Some notable events:

Tuffy went with a brand spankin’ new brisket recipe with a new marinade and a new injection. He talks about using the the “flat” of the brisket (“a packer”) as opposed to the point.

Myron talks about his wood choice. He likes a fruit wood with lots of sugar saps in it. This time he uses a peach wood he gets from a friend Ed Harris. He also showed how he boxed his pork differently than others. Rather than placing it on top of lettuce, he places it on top of chopped pork in order to keep the meat warm. He also cuts his sauce with water and drizzles a little of that on top.

Paul also tries a new recipe. He’s been placing dead last and having trouble reconciling whether or not it’s worth it to continue doing competition BBQ. He tries three types of ribs on some tasters. He did one his previous style, one using Johnny Trigg’s recipe and the the one he settled on, a cherry rub with chile powder, black pepper and onion powder. He mentioned that he “found” this recipe so it’s not something he came up with. Paul also steals Myron’s technique with using muffin tins to form his chicken. This was a highly featured event and Myron didn’t take to lightly to it. Oddly enough Paul was 16 seconds late in getting his chicken to the table so was disqualified from that category.

LeAnn had a bit of a tough time because they had to shut off the power for 30 minutes. She had just put her meat on and her cooker uses electricity to turn. Some of the others didn’t have that same problem. She got upset but was okay with her turn out.

Johnny spoke a little of his preparation. One of the interesting things is that he doesn’t use his own rub. He buys his pre-made. He basically said that someone else has already gone through the trouble of making a perfect rub and why should he waste his time and money when it’s already available.

Once again judging is done blind and based on three criteria, appearance, taste and tenderness, 9 being the highest score of each with a total of 27. Without further ado here are the final results:

Decatur Jaycees 15th Annual Riverfest
Location: Decatur, Alabama
Date: September 17-19, 2009
Categories: Chicken, Ribs, Pork & Brisket
Total Competitors: 59
Promoter: Kansas City Barbeque Society

11 – LeeAnn Whippen – Wood Chicks BBQ
15 – Harry Soo – Slap Yo’ Daddy BBQ
17 – Myron Mixon – Jack’s Old South
20 – Johnny Trigg – Smokin Triggers
27 – Tuffy Stone – Cool Smoke
DQ – Paul Petersen – Pablo Diablo BBQ

Pork Ribs
1 – Johnny Trigg – Smokin Triggers
4 – Myron Mixon – Jack’s Old South
6 – LeeAnn Whippen – Wood Chicks BBQ
15 – Tuffy Stone – Cool Smoke
28 – Harry Soo – Slap Yo’ Daddy BBQ
52 – Paul Petersen – Pablo Diablo BBQ

15 – Tuffy Stone – Cool Smoke
19 – Johnny Trigg – Smokin Triggers
27 – Myron Mixon – Jack’s Old South
30 – Harry Soo – Slap Yo’ Daddy
31 – Paul Petersen – Pablo Diablo BBQ
42 – LeeAnn Whippen – Wood Chicks BBQ

1 – Tuffy Stone – Cool Smoke
5 – Myron Mixon – Jack’s Old South
6 – LeeAnn Whippen – Wood Chicks BBQ
17 – Harry Soo – Slap Yo’ Daddy
26 – Johnny Trigg – Smokin Triggers
51 – Paul Petersen – Pablo Diablo BBQ

6 – Myron Mixon – Jack’s Old South
7 – Tuffy Stone – Cool Smoke
9 – Johnny Trigg – Smokin Triggers
10 – LeeAnn Whippen – Wood Chicks BBQ
15 – Harry Soo – Slap Yo’ Daddy BBQ
59 – Paul Petersen – Pablo Diablo BBQ

Memorable Quotes:

“I looked over at Paul’s tent…saw these damn muffin pans…you know that pissed me off….and I walked over jus’ see who the f&% he was taking my s&^%.” – Myron Mixon

“If you’re going to steal something at least be good at it. If you win today I expect a damn check.” – Myron Mixon to Paul Petersen.

“I need something to start my damn fires with.” – Myron Mixon when Chris said he bought 1/2 dozen of his books.”

“The fact the power went out did comprimise my product going into this competiton.” – LeeAnn Whippen

“I’m not going travel 1000′s of miles, spend 1000′s of dollars just to get back home empty handed. There’s a new front on the BBQ circuit and I’m it.” – Tuffy Stone

“I call her the Grillvette, she’s painted red, shes’s sexy, she’s beautiful but she cooks good. I got nicer wheels on my pit then I do my car.” – Tuffy Stone

“I’d do anything to win….except cheat.” – Paul Petersen

“Shiggin’ is the act of entering another’s cook site with the intent to steal their processes.” – Tuffy Stone giving Myron a shigging cup.

Overall the cooks did extremely well. Five of them placed 6-10 (with the inclusion of Jambo Pitts) in the overall out of 59 competitors. Johnny got first in ribs and Tuffy with his new brisket recipe placed first, both earning $1,250. For another excellent write up on the show check out Diva Q’s post.

The next show won’t be until January 7th and I’m guessing it’s the American Royal Barbecue Open in Kansas City, Missouri.

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Dutch Mechanic

Best Christmas Ornament Ever

Posted By: on December 15, 2009

Hands down, the best ornament this far has been the candy cane… I mean, it’s candy, it looks cool, and they’re inexpensive. However, looks like there’s a new contender for the best Christmas ornament, its just too bad you can’t eat it too.

For more xmas fun, check out these guys.

bacon ornament

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Heesa Phadie

What Should I Drink? Beer Edition (Flowchart)

Posted By: on December 14, 2009

In conjunction with the amazingly useful, humorous and insightful Sloshspot.com we’ve put together another flowchart to make your decision making that much easier.

Just in time for those wonderful Holiday parties, Eating The Road to the rescue. We figured you may need this one a bit more than the others seeing that you may be a little…ahh, under the influence. Due to that, please use this chart with caution and responsibility. If you have not heeded that advice there is always this wonderful video on how to hold your liquor and here is a list of hangover cures. Also, in maybe one of the most genius Holiday creations ever, here is a Scottish Advent Calendar.

You may also enjoy our other flowcharts:
Fast Food
Chain Restaurant
Freezer Aisle
Produce Aisle

(click image to enlarge)
What Should I Drink - Beer

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Heesa Phadie

Will They Build It? McDonald’s (Big McSausage Egg Surf & Turf Mac)

Posted By: on December 12, 2009


Where: McDonald’s
What: A Big Mac, Filet o Fish patty, McChicken patty, McMuffin egg & sausage patty.
Cost: $7.71
Success: Yes!

This is our next attempt at Will They Build It? The first was Taco Bell’s Nacho Cheesy Blackjack Volcano Gordita Crunch.

In this series we attempt to have the workers at various fast food establishments build concoctions we come up with. There are not any steadfast rules but it must be “off the menu”, price is not a consideration (we know in some cases they may be extremely ridiculous) and going into the restaurant we must have the item in mind and not try to tweak it at the counter. We really want to see if they can and will make strange item requests.

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