I know what I’ll be bringing to the next office party…Star Wars shaped cookies. These are actually sold by Williams-Sonoma (for $19.95) believe it or not. There are four shapes in the pack: Darth Vader, Yoda, Boba Fett and a Stormtrooper.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a Jedi master chef used the Force to create dynamic gear for the kitchen. These amazing tools, known as “cookie cutters,” had the power to transform ordinary cookie dough into a delectable cast of galactic characters.

I wonder if my piping skills can match these here. That would be so bad ass to whip up a batch of these.

After much smack talk back and forth between the contestants about who could eat more (obviously everyone and their mother would give odds to Red Beard), they came to the conclusion that pizza would be the most enjoyable to them. The challenge would be held at the wonderful Ledo Pizza in Seabrook.

The folks at Ledo Pizza advocated this tremendous event by offering to supply the brave with two large pizzas to tackle in under one hour. The pizzas would each have 2 toppings…their choices…Red Beard went with double pepperoni on both (cooked crisp)…whice Flacco Libre attempted to be more tactical in his approach, he divided his in half going with a 1/2 Hawaiian, 1/2 chicken & onion and the other 1/2 sausage & mushroom, 1/2 pepperoni & olive.

The pizzas came out piping hot and delicious. The battle was to commence. The two gave each other a nod and dug in. Within the first 15 minutes the two were neck and neck and going strong. They occasionally would give a verbal jab here and there showing their confidence. Which would come out on top?

Slowly, against all known odds, Flacco Libre began to to take a lead. Flacco was maintaing a steady pace as Red Beard began to slow slightly. Red Bread pushed through a wall but again started to slow. Leaning back, he contemplated whether or not he could continue. This was at the 30 minute mark and just under 1 full large pizza. He decided to step outside and ponder his stomach capacity over a smooth cigarette.

Meanwhile, Flacco Libre soldiered on…chomping his way onto the second of his larges. He was still going stong when Red Beard returned to the dining room. Eying how far his combatant was into the second pizza and looking at how much more he had to consume he made the wise decision to throw in the red table cloth. Flacco Libre had easily, and by a wide margin, defeated the once unbeatable Red Beard.

At this point the Great Flacco Libre still had roughly 17 slices left if he were to consume the entire 2 larges (Red Beard ended with a total of 28 eaten). Would he continue on even after defeating his enemy? To give it a moment, he walked next door where he was treated to an ice cream as a reward by his counterpart. After consuming the ice cream he garnered a second wind of the tastes buds (after eating so much of a single item this helped apparently) be continued to eat another 7 slices bringing his total consumed to 50…beating Red Bread by a whopping 22 slices!

Could he have finished the entire 2 pizzas? Flacco Libre claims that he could do it no problem and only stopped because there was no further incentive. He had clearly demolished his opponent. Others claim that he was using that as an excuse and wasn’t able to stomach on…but will the world ever know…we wait with wet lips.

Thanks again to Ledo Pizza located at 9454 Lanham Severn Road in Lanham, MD 20706. If you’re looking for some awesome pizza be sure to head over there. You can order ahead by calling them at (301) 577-5550‎. Even though we ate enough pizza to capsize a boat…I’m still already craving it again.

I think every child has gone through the Saturday morning ritual of putting on your (locally sponsored by Jim’s Auto Repair or something of the ilk) uniform, strapping on your shin guards and lacing up your cleats prior to heading out to the neighborhood field for a day filled with kicking and screaming.

One thing I always looked forward, almost more than the games themselves, was the snacks to be had afterward. It usually rotated through the season from parent to parent. It was a good way to gauge what type of parents they were by what they brought. The hippies with the no sugar added homemade granola or the lazy overweight ones that brought the store bought Little Debbie snack cakes.

Some weekends were great and sometimes it was a huge let down. I always felt bad for the kid with the divorced parents whose dad forgot to even bring the snacks on his day and had to run down to 7-Eleven during the game. Here is our list of the Top 10 Saturday soccer morning snacks…and we want to give a big thank you to all the moms out there who treat us to these delectable treats.

10.) Ants on a Log

It was always nice to get a stick of celery smothered in peanut butter and topped with raisins. This was a rare item but always enjoyable. This was from a mom that put a little love and pride into what she brought.

9.) Kudos Bars

Probably one of the more common items, you really couldn’t go wrong with any flavor of Kudos bars. I don’t think I’ve eaten these anywhere else but on a soccer pitch.

8.) Otter Pops

This was always a surprise to get because it had to come from a prepared parent. They had to have the ice chest to keep them frozen, usually a dad had a hand in bringing these. The perfect way to cool down after the game.

7.) Fruit Roll Ups

Another pretty common item but nothing wrong with that. They were fun to eat and fun to play with. They always had some wacky thing to do with them like tongue tattoos or designs you could rip out.

6.) Nature Valley Granola Bars

The most common flavor was Oats & Honey but if Brown Sugar & Cinnamon or Peanut Butter showed it’s face those were always a big hit. These one of the most brought items as they were easy to store and didn’t need any preparation.

5.) Doughnuts

This is usually what came from the dad that had to leave during the game because he forgot completely to bring something. Either from 7-Eleven or Dunkin’ Donuts. Mmmm…sugary goodness. Because he was absent minded he tried to make it up by getting something the kids would love…only problem is he then made enemies with the parents who would now be dealing with kiddies bouncing all over the minivan from the sugar intake.

4.) Oreos

These too were pretty rare but certainly one of our favorites. Usually accompanied by another snack too. The only problem here is that you never had milk to go with them but still a good treat. They were often rationed to 1 or 2 a piece.

3.) Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches

Depending on the parent these could actually be a hit or miss. The errors ranged from not having the proper peanut butter/jelly ratio, not being on white bread, not being slice diagonally and not be stored well so they became overly warm. With the absence of those mistakes these were possibly the best item.

2.) Capri-Sun Juice

A staple at almost every single game. We loved to grab our favorite flavor from the ice chest, rip of the straw and puncture that delicious pouch. Often times these would be consumed in seconds flat.

1.) Orange Slices

These take the number one spot mostly because of the nostalgic factor and the fact that they were pretty much at every single game no matter what. Some mom would always take the time to cut up perfect slices of oranges and fill up a few tupperware cases. Another point that makes this number one is being able to create the ever so awesome orange slice smile…which we did every single time.

Where: McDonalds
What: Egg McMuffin, Mac Sauce, Sausage Patty, Scrambled Eggs, Pancake, Hotcake Syrup, Hashbrown, Pancake, Hotcake Syrup, Sausage, Mac Sauce & Egg McMuffin
Cost: $10.54
Success: Yes!

Previous Will They Build Its?
Taco Bell (Nacho Cheesy Blackjack Volcano Gordita Crunch)
McDonald’s (Big McSausage Egg Surf & Turf Mac)
Burger King (Double Bacon Rodeo State Fair Cheeseburger) – Featured on Conan O’Brien
Arby’s (Every Animal on the Farm Sandwich)
Long John Silver’s (Deep-fried Bottom of the Sea Wrap)
KFC & Krispy Kreme (Fried Chicken Luther Double Down)
KFC (Elvis Double Down Sandwich)
Cold Stone Creamery (Every Topping Under The Sun-Dae)

One issue at McDonald’s is that prior to 10:30 AM if you’ve got a hankerin’ for a Big Mac you’re shit out of luck. Well we thought we’d tackle that problem head-on…but knowing us, we had to go even further than what you might think. If you can’t get a big mac in the morning…might as well just make a breakfast Big Mac.

There she is in all her splendor. The Double Breakfast EggMc Big Mac…the stuff dreams are made of. How do you make such a beast? Start with an EggMcMuffin as your bottom “bun”, lather on a good heaping of Mac Sauce, add a sausage patty, scrambled eggs, a hotcake (as your middle “bun”), hotcake syrup, a delicious McDonald’s hashbrown, another hotcake, more hotcake syrup, a second sausage patty, more Mac Sauce and use a second Egg McMuffin as your top “bun”.

Normally things like this are featured on ThisIsWhyYou’reFat but sadly they’re not around anymore. But word on the streets is that www.thisiswhyyourehuge.com has stepped up to the “plate” and will fill your empty stomachs with fatty goodness. Hopefully they’ll feature this bad boy.

With just about the total daily caloric need for a large active male, this monster will certainly hold you over for the day. And if you’re worried about the amount of fat, cholesterol, sodium or carbs you take in then this sandwich is not for you. It will however get you a pretty good serving of protein…so maybe that can offset some of the negative aspects.

Let me just tell you, if you think this is disgusting, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. It may just be the best thing you’ll put your lips around before 10:30 AM. We all know Egg McMuffins are delicious, and what can be bad about utilizing those as buns? Add the sausage, eggs, hashbrowns and hotcakes to the mix and it’s getting better. But the real kicker is the addition of the syrup and the Mac Sauce. The hotcake syrup adds that nice layer of sweetness and the Mac Sauce gives you a little savory tang to finish it all off. For the brave foodies out there, I recommend you stop by your local McD’s and do yourself a little favor by ordering one of these.

The burger aficionados over at A Hamburger Today have been doing weekly polls on what eaters want in a burger. We’ve taken the data (with their permission of course, thanks guys!), crunched the numbers and have come up with the perfect burger…and also what would presumably be the least appetizing burger. Not sure how you’re going to accomplish that deep-fried 1 1/2 inch thick rare burger but I know I wouldn’t want to try it. What makes the perfect burger and meal to you?

…and if eating all this deliciousness makes your ass nice and round, this is perfect for you.

[click the image to view full size]

…speaking of party, what are you doing for your LOST series finale party?

How cool is that? I’ve never tried their other themed packs like Thanksgiving (Turkey & Gravy, Brussels Sprout with Prosciutto, Cranberry, Wild Herb Stuffing and Pumpkin Pie) or Halloween (Candy Corn, Strawberry S’lime, Scary Berry Lemonade, Caramel Apple, Spider Cider, Berried Alive & Gruesome Grape) but I have been waiting since the sweet age of 12 to try a little Potion of Healing. Has anyone tried these yet…how do they taste?