There are certain advantages to being born to celebrities such as Sylvester Stallone or Nicholas Cage. The money, the fame, the privilege – coming into this world with an instant leg up can make life easier. There are certainly drawbacks to being in the spotlight before knowing what a spotlight even is, which is why we wonder why so many celebrity babies have names that nobody would ever want to borrow, let alone own for their entire life.

Stallone may be a timeless icon who has played well-named characters such as Rocky and Rambo, but why would he name his son Sage Moonblood? Cage was once rumored to be up for the part of Superman. He didn’t get it, but he did name his son Kal-El.

What were these (and the other 115 silly celebrities on the list) guys thinking?

Wow…just wow. That’s all I can really say about this. This is a phenomenally video (recording really) of a call that Lyndon Johnson made to the Haggar clothing company in 1964. Not only does he mention that his weight fluctuates 15 lbs each month but he goes into great detail about the extra room need in the crotch area.

This is one of the most hilarious and intriguing things I’ve heard from one of our former presidents. I wonder who leaked this little snippet of comedy. There must be tons more great content like this.

UPDATE: I’ve manged to find the source of the recordings. Now it’s just who has the time to listen through it all for the nice gems we’d all like to hear. It’s pretty interesting to listen to them.

Artist Christopher Uminga is a painter and illustrator from New Haven, CT. He has quite the unique way of redoing the characters we all grew up loving. You can check out his personal website or his DeviantArt profile. You might also enjoy his gallery of “Kids Who Like To Fight“.

Cereal Monsters

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Batman, Superman & Wonderwoman

As the story goes, aliens touched down on New York City and dropped off some of their minions who were extremely flexible and talented at yelling. These are those minions and they’re pretty good at whatever it is they’re doing here.

Though you wouldn’t expect tips on how to be normal to come from the Prince of Darkess, he’s now dishing them out in a new video from Brisk. Surprisingly, Oxxy’s view of “normal” doesn’t including drinking blood, biting the head off bats, or setting voodoo dolls on fire.

You can join Ozzy and Brisk on Facebook for cool perks like contests, giveaways, etc.

Mrs. Claus has always had a special place in my heart. There may not be a better woman out there. Not only is she pretty much always in  a good mood but she’s a wonderful cook (making all those chocolate chip cookies), she allows her man to eat whatever he wants, she’s always dressed to the 9s, and she doesn’t mind catering to her mans every whim. Aside from the whole magical, elf, toy making thing, this is the number one reason I am jealous of Santa. So with Christmas coming right around the corner, what better way to pay homage to the awesome Mrs. Claus than with a few hot ones.

Now that Thanksgiving is over and we’ve all consumed more calories than we ever thought we could, it’s time to burn those suckers and get back in shape. Here are 15 hot chicks trying to do just that. Speaking of hot chicks, here’s possibly the hottest chick you’ll see today.

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year. You get to sit around and watch football and drink heavily while other people prepare food for you. Then you stuff your face, watch more football, drink more beers and lay around. Bottom line… Thanksgiving is a pretty cool holiday. It would be even better however if you could bring any one of these girls with you this year. As you can see, they’re all great in the kitchen so they’ll fit right in.

So the other day some guy (@iHeartMtnDEW) tweeted “@frankiemuniz ur acting is just, awful. sorry but, it is.” and this was Frankie’s reply:

In some regards I find this pretty freakin’ awesome. I mean if I had made that amount of money at that age I think I would have the balls to make statements like this too. He didn’t have to go into the whole “moms house” “35″ thing but nonetheless…ZING! Something that I learned too is that Frankie has stopped acting for the time being and is trying to start an actual career as Formula One racecar driver. He’s actually done pretty well and won a few races.

• In 2005 he won the Toyota Pro/Celebrity Race.
• In January 2007, he placed second at the Sebring Winter National Phat Sack race.
• Muniz signed with Atlantic Championship winning team Pacific Coast Motorsports in January 2008. He finished the 2008 season in eleventh place.
• At the end of the 2008 season, Muniz won the Jovy Marcelo Sportsmanship Award.

How does this make you feel about him? Do you like him more or less for saying something like this? (Funny thing is, Frankie has 72,313 followers and Liam Laferriere (the random tweeter) has a whopping 64. That’s just not fair.

What is “Fuck You” Money, you ask?  Fuck You Money (henceforth referred to as F.U.M.) is a certain level of wealth that basically allows you the ability to do whatever the fuck you want, whenever you want to, however you want to, for the rest of your life and then some – And if anybody has a problem with it, you can just say….

"Make us proud, son.."

You get the idea.  For the sake of argument, I will set my F.U.M amount at $1,000,000,000 USD.  Or, as The Sultan Of Brunei calls it, “Hooker Money”:

1. Scrooge McDuck-esque Money Pool:

Scroogy Mc-D making it "Hail"

Why a pool you say? Because a whole vault would just be douchy.  Also, I would probably need alot more money to fill a vault rather than a pool.

Maybe just an inflatable pool, come to think of it.

Either way, who hasn’t thought of having a SMD money pit at least once in their life?  I’m almost positive, that every time Duck Tales came on I thought to myself “Wow, I’d sure like to have me one of those money vault things to swim around in”.

Sure, it would be impractical. Sure, the sheer logistics of swimming through a sea of gold coins just doesn’t add up. Sure, coins are as filthy as a Greg Giraldo roast session (RIP G.G.).   I don’t care.

Look at this duck. LOOK AT HIM!!! He’s happier than a pig in shit. That’s the life, right there.