The Hangover Wants What the Hangover Wants

Posted By: on August 3, 2010

Fairfield County Menus - Greasy Bags

You see those bags?  THAT is what my stomach CRAVES after a night of self-loathed drinking.  It used to happen a lot more, specifically when in college (which is 50% of the reason I got so fat), but I must confess I had a fat kid day for the record books this weekend.

Sunday – I woke up with something fierce.  No, I’m not talking about that – pervert; I’m talking about the feeling you get after a night of alcohol consumption that can only be satisfied by the greasiest, unhealthiest and downright sinful food you can get your hands on.  Why is that? For me, that means burgers and basically anything that can fit into a fryalator (industrial sized).

My day consisted of two trips to two different fast food joints: McDonald’s…and Wendy’s.  I was looking for fat food fast – and boy did I find it. And it did not disappoint on any level.

Before I go any further I must present you with one disclaimer.  I am not proud of what I did. I am still feeling the effects of what happened when the residual alcohol in my system collectively kicked the inner dieter in the teeth and stole his wallet. This is a dance they both know so very well. Granted, it’s so unbelievably easy to forget about the  salad on any day, but magnify that by 20,000 to the nth.

You know what I’m talking about. You’ve done it – and you’ll do it again.  And by you, I mean me. Here’s a list of what I ate for two meals (not including the chicken sandwich, pickle and tortilla chips and salsa I had beforehand):

  • Big Mac
  • Large McDonald’s fries
  • Large Sprite
  • Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich
  • Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger
  • Wendy’s Fries
  • Wendy’s chicken nuggets (half)
  • Large coke

Now that I look at that, it actually doesn’t seem so bad.  Just as delicious? Totally. I’m actually thinking now, that I blew it by not going bigger at Micky D’s.  I easily could have scarfed down a snack wrap and apple pies.  Again, I am not proud – only now it’s because I could have eaten more.

Jeff the Jerk is a contributing writer who loves his beer and loves his greasy food. To read more posts by him, head over to

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