Top Cultured » money

A Couple $100 Reasons To Hate Celebrities

Scotty Trigg — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:41:13 +0000

If I had the wherewithal I’d be makin’ it rain like the monsoon season in China all the time so I guess I really shouldn’t be too upset with the below displays of excess but as they say “haters gonn’ hate, playas gon’ play.”

“This Is Just A Pain In The Butt…Literally”

Heesa Phadie — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 15:06:05 +0000

The slick, ultra-thin, compact, durable Slim Clip is not only possibly the worst “invention” (it’s just a money clip) of all time but it’s also the worst infomercial of all time. To make matters worse I have spent far too much time analyzing it to give you the full play-by-play. Here, give the spot a watch:

I’ve gone ahead and bolded out a few stellar points (facts?):

“No more bulky wallets! No more bulky wallets!”

Is that bulky wallet a pain in the back? Do you struggle to find your cards, ID and cash? What you need is the Slim Clip. The amazing new wallet that holds everything you need in less than 1/2 inch. Now go from bulky and fat to slim and compact. In your back or front pocket! Slim Clip is sleek and ultra-thin to compactly fit in your purse, bag or pocket. From credit cards to cash…you’ll always find it fast. The secret is the patented double-sided grip tight clip that simply holds up to 30 bills on one side and 6 credit cards on the other. And unlike leather wallets that stretch out so everything falls out, with Slip Clips special raised edges and locking clips you can shake all you want and nothing will ever fall out. Slim Clip is engineered from durable stainless-steel so matter what the abuse you’ll have a lifetime of use guaranteed. There’s nothing else like it.

“This is small, compact it fits in a pocket…I can carry it with me wherever could I go.”

“I like the Slim Clip a lot better. It’s smaller, it’s easier to get in and out of your pocket…(holding wallet) and this is just a pain in the butt…literally.”

In the front or the back, it’s always the perfect size wallet. Stop the pain in the back from bulky wallets and stop the searching for what you need. Order your Slim Clip that holds everything you need in less than 1/2 an inch with the incredible TV price of just $10. It comes with a lifetime replacement warranty, if it ever breaks or bends we’ll get you a new one, no questions asked. As a special bonus we’ll include this super bright key-chain light. To light door locks, read menus…and much more, yours free. But wait…because Slim Clip makes the best gift any time of year we’ll triple this entire offer free. Just pay a separate shipping and processing fee and get three Slim Clip and three key-chain lights, a $30 value, all for the low price of $10. Order now!

I don’t think the bulge in my pants is from my wallet, and even if it were, I highly doubt it would be giving me lower back pain. The only reason I struggle to find my cash is because I don’t gots any…not because of some intrinsic error in the ever so flawed wallet. This “amazing new wallet” is a money clip people…how dare you purport to be bringing us something new and engineered. This is like when I drop a Stouffer’s in the Pyrex dish, dash on a little salt and pepper and call it my patented Phadie Three-Cheese Lasagna.

“The secret”…I feel for the individual who considered this a secret, also the individual who feels “There’s nothing else like it.” The genius who wrote this ad must live in pre-Industrial Revolution Romania. I would love to meet that guy. Even he would fall for my quarter from the nose trick. Ever since my nephew turned 4 I’ve lost my captive audience…this could bring my Zaney World o’ Magic show back into the spotlight.

Apparently this passes muster with the Will It Blend? guys, and you can drive over it repeatedly if you’d like. Good to know because I was planning on running my money through those conditions. My real question is this…and I know you’ve asked it yourselves, and not just about this product (I’m thinking Comfort Wipe)…who buys these? How do these things make money? It really amazes me.

Seems to me like this product was made for one person in mind…George Costanza:

How getting stingy like a scoundrel will make you rich

Chris Illuminati — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 14:29:02 +0000

There are easy ways to save money. But what about some unorthodox ways to make your dollar go farther? Ideas like how to clothe yourself by signing up for on-the-street credit-card promotions, how to get free meals every day by saying it’s your birthday, and how to carry an arsenal of fast food cups in your car for free refills wherever you travel.

Click here to read how getting stingy like a scoundrel will make you rich.

Just Trying to Make a Buck

Ryan Deal — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:31:13 +0000

Univ. of South Carolina Named Most Sexually Protected University… Damnit! [Guyism]

Homeless Chic? [Street Level]

Playboy Mansion Halloween Party Pics [COED Magazine]

7 Semi-retarded Ads for Your Penis [Regretful Morning]

Creepy Craigslist Pervert Can Help You Lose Weight [Lemondrop]

Hot Elementary SchoolTeacher Offers Lessons on Anatomy [Asylum]

11 “Treats” You Pray You Don’t Get on Halloween [Stay Here]

10 Things the Northwest Pilots Might Have Been Doing While They Weren’t Paying Attention [Comedy.com]

A Photo Gallery of Random Drunk Girls [Uncoached]

7 Best Maury Povich Paternity Result Reactions [Holy Taco]

Hilarious Bat Prank [Yep Yep]

This Dog May FAIL at Skateboarding but He’s a Winner in My Book [Gorilla Mask]

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Somebody’s Got To Protect The Bacon

Ryan Deal — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 16:24:00 +0000

Let’s face it, when it comes to men, there are only three things we care about, boobs, money, and bacon. Now, we’ve got bra’s to protect the boobs (unfortunately) and banks to protect our money (in theory), but who’s gonna protect our bacon? These guys!

35 Tip Jars Designed to Make You Give More

Ryan Deal — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 13:19:53 +0000

I’ll admit, I rarely tip unless I don’t feel like carrying around the 14 cents that the barista gives me. It’s not because I don’t want to, I just haven’t been given the proper incentive. Here are 35 tip jars with uummph that deserve your spare change.