Scotty Trigg

Proof Aziz Ansari Is The Funniest Comedian Online

Posted by: Scotty Trigg on January 18th, 2010

Azizpimp

Dude is seriously funny, from trying to get free drinks posing as Kal Penn or pretending to be “that Indian guy from Community” I think the only Indian guy he hasn’t tried to pull off is Jack Donaghy’s assistant in 30 Rock or maybe CNN’s Sanjay Gupta (but I wouldn’t put that past him). By now  everyone has seen Raaaaaaaandy, whom I for one, have to thank for the current map in my room that unfortunately is full of mostly white pins (FHBSDTMYD).  I’ll bet you’ve even seen Ariz talking about emailing Kanye on behalf of his cousin on the Jimmy Kimmel show or on David Letterman where he talks about his personal trainer:

“She was like, Aziz, there’s this new study that came out it said that any food you eat after 11 O’clock PM goes straight to you belly so you got to cut out those late night meals. And I was like oh well, there’s another study I heard about that said if you have a lot of alcohol in your system and you eat a quesadilla at 3 in the morning it’s delicious.”

You probably saw him on Conan talking about the thread count of his sheets.  And hopefully you’ve seen him talking, singing and dancing as R. Kelly on last week’s Jimmy Kimmel because I personally laughed my dick off at that shit. You’ve also most likely seen him on Parks and Recreation and in Funny People. But unless you follow him on Twitter (@azizansari) you may have missed some great moments. I’ve compiled some of the best here for your reading pleasure, just click the picture below to see them all (be sure to scroll down past the photo for a little hidden gem). You can find me over on the Twitterverse @HeesaPhadie.

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Dutch Mechanic

Best Website Hack Ever

Posted by: Dutch Mechanic on January 7th, 2010

hack

Visitors to the new European Union site who would normally be greeted by Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero were instead met with the beautiful mug of Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Bean) thanks to a some very cleaver nyrd with a terrific sense of humor. He did have a political agenda attached to his attack but I enjoy his use of comedy to further his message. I find it both brilliant and inspiring in a way.

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Daniel Joseph

The Caps Rap – Best Hockey Fan Rap Video of 2010

Posted by: Daniel Joseph on January 4th, 2010

Made by some very crafty younggins’ with a love for the “National” team the Washington Capitals, this video is extremely funny and very well produced. In a feat that would make Mel Gibson jealous, Andrew Bowser (King Koopa), of Stereo Waltz Films, directs, raps, stars in, films, edits, writes and produces this wonderful specimen of true fanboyism.

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Ryan Deal

Uh, What Time Is It?

Posted by: Ryan Deal on December 1st, 2009

lol time


25 Babes James Bond Has Boned [Holy Taco]

Tila Tequila Strip Tease [Gorilla Mask]

Cheryl Cole… Hawt!! [NS4W] NSFW

Jesus + Pogo Stick = Hours of Fun [EHOWA]

Some of the Best Matrix Cosplay You’ll Ever See [Attuworld]

5 Childhood Toys That Prepared Us For College [College Humor]

50 of the Hottest Calendars of All Time [COED Magazine] NSFW

20 Glamour Shots Gone Wrong [Manofest]

9 Ridiculous Lawsuits Filed By Inmates [Regretful Morning]

8 Things Guys Wish Their Girlfriends Would Do [Guyism]

If You’re on Facebook, You’ve Got To Add This Guy [REDBEARD ]

HOW TO: Shamelessly Promote Your Own Sex Tape [Don Chavez]

Pics From The Miss Reef 2009 Contest [Phun.org] NSFW

8 Small Films That Made It Big [DJMICK]

20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer [Yep Yep]

Hot Party Chicks in China [Stay Here]

Dutch Mechanic

The Best Omegle Ownage Ever

Posted by: Dutch Mechanic on November 19th, 2009

There’s not much that’s more embarrassing than someone walking in on you having sex. But at least you’re getting some. What’s more embarrassing is trying to get some 90’s cyber sex action and being owned by the person you thought was gonna give it up… virtually…

For ultimate cyber fun, check out these guys (SFW).

omegle ownage

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Ryan Deal

The Only Thing in This Life that Matters

Posted by: Ryan Deal on November 16th, 2009

venn diagram



Where Are All The Hoes? [Holy Taco ]

The Most Satisfying Motorcycle Wheelie FAIL [Gorrila Mask]

The Hottest Time Waster You’ll See All Day [Busted Coverage]

The Best Movie Title Hack Ever [EHOWA]

Hilarious Flashmob You Haven’t Seen Yet [YouTube]

The Hottest Airline Calendar Ever [DJMICKV2]

If You’re on Facebook, You’ve Got To Add This Guy [REDBEARD]

68 Girls Wearing Belts Instead of Bras [COED Magazine] NSFW

This is What $150 Beer Looks Like [The Bachelor Guy]

Umm… What Do You Gotta Do to Win This? [Don Chavez]

Now, THIS is How you Throw a Wedding [Guyism]

Hot Girls and Guns! [Gunaxin]

Hotties in the Wild [Uncoached]

Please, Please, Please Let This Work [Asylum]

Ashley Greene: The Only Good Thing About Twilight [Stay Here]

15 U.S. Beers That Pack a Punch[Flavored Delights]


**Want your link on our next list? Send them to topcultured [at] gmail [dot] com**

Dr. Intoxicated

An Experiment in Getting a Girl: Rules of The Game

Posted by: Dr. Intoxicated on November 16th, 2009

ruleofthegame

It’s the second most stolen book in the United States right after the Bible” said Neil Strauss in reference to his book Rules of the Game on the popular radio show Toucher and Rich in Boston.  This obviously piqued my interest. The book is billed as the be all, end all guide to picking up women and it’s written by Neil Strauss who wrote such kick ass biographies as “Dirt” about Motley Crue and “How To Make Love Like A Porn Star”  about Jenna Jameson.

I’m a lonely, lonely man and my pick up technique of telling girls I’m “the bassist from the band Ace of Bass, and that’s right I am the ace,” wasn’t working (probably because Ace of Base didn’t actually have a bassist).  Rules of the Game is designed like a textbook for picking up women with daily lessons and lasts 30 days so I decided to take the challenge and chronicle my experience. Here’s what happened:

DAY 1:

day1

We start our adventure by assessing ourselves with several questions.

Q: Describe how you think people see you?

A: Probably with their eyes, I believe it involves light refraction and such. Unless they’re blind then well… I guess they’d make easy victims. Actually, most people see me as a funny guy with no broads.

Q: Describe how you want people to see you?

A: Through telescopes looking up at me in my sky castle! Bwa ha ha ha! Okay how about as a funny guy with tons of broads.

Q:  Identify 3 behaviors you want to change.

A:  Not getting laid, not getting any vagina, and being without access to vagina.

Q:  3 Characteristics you’d like to adopt.

A:  Kicking Bill Engvall in the nuts, having movie star good looks, and receiving more free tacos.

The next section is a list of “limiting beliefs” that hold you back.  “People aren’t judging you, actually they desire your approval as much as you desire theirs.” I guess this means I should begin each conversation with women by yelling the reminder “You demand my approval!”  Here’s another one, “Just ask women what they want.”  I guess this implies that all women are inherently prostitutes who charge different rates and enjoy being propositioned with phrases like “How much?”

Alright let’s move on to the “Small Talk” section. The book gives several examples to use with fill in the blanks to customize them for every situation you’ll ever run into.

Current Events: Did you hear that —— ?  What will they think of next!

Here’s what I used, think of your own, don’t steal mine.

Did you hear that ducks are rape proof? What will they think of next!

Entertainment: Did you see the new —— movie yet? I heard it was good.

Mine: Did you see the new rape fantasy porno yet? I heard it was good.

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Ryan Deal

So If I Put The Tissue In My Mouth, I Can’t Flush It Anymore?

Posted by: Ryan Deal on November 10th, 2009

This picture was sent in by a TopCultured reader who found this gem in a bathroom at a rest stop in Maryland. Guess in MD they’ve got problems with people putting toilet paper in their mouths BEFORE they flush it… Either that or they’ve just got a problem with Lanny. For more funny, click here.

toilet paper sign

Ryan Deal

Hey, That Kinda Looks Like A…

Posted by: Ryan Deal on November 9th, 2009

kinda looks like

If You’re on Facebook, You’ve Got To Add This Guy [REDBEARD]

The Best Football Celebration Dances EVER [Holy Taco]

Rejected Mortal Kombat Fatalities [Gorilla Mask]

Hot Girls Playing Twister. What Else Can Be Said? [COED Magazine] NSFW

Coolest Thing You Could Ever Do With A Vacuum [Guyism]

Proof That Halloween Isn’t Always Sexy [Don Chavez]

It’s Normal To Be Afraid Of Tyler Perry [Stay Here]

Everyone Loves McDonalds, Especially Thieves [Uncoached]

Guy Gives The Best Excuse Ever [Yep Yep]

The Best Video You’ll See All Week [Lemon Drop]

Should Your Grandfather Say No To Prostitutes? [Next Round]

**Want your link on our next list? Send them to topcultured [at] gmail [dot] com**

Dutch Mechanic

The Only Way to Set This Alarm is to…

Posted by: Dutch Mechanic on November 1st, 2009

Most alarms require you to enter some sort of pin code to arm and disarm the device. This one goes a bit beyond that, forcing you to fap in order to protect your belongings. Hey, I’m not complaining…

fap to set the alarm

source: unknown

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