Home of the $5 snickers bar (thanks to through the roof taxes)

Free needles to drug addicts (funded by Canadian tax dollars)

where only criminals carry guns (it's too hard for law abiding citizens to get around the red tape)

home to thousands of U.S. draft dodgers (please keep them, and keep subsidizing them)

home of the 30 year old undergraduate and perpetual sociology/philosophy student (we have 30 year old students in the U.S. too, they're called DOCTORS)

Cold summers, worse winters, and even worse beer

Don't forget about Canada's fabulous healthcare program everyone orgasms about, you know, that one where everyone has insurance even if they don't do a damn thing? Have fun hopping from doctor to doctor and waiting in the emergency room for hours on end. all they do is push you from one doctor to the next and then you'll wait, wait, wait. Once you finally see a doctor, they are beyond burnt out and offer you treatment with outdated technology and medicine. That's if you can even find a doctor, since their salaries are taxed to death no one wants to be one in Canada. Oh yeah, good luck getting a second opinion or specialized treatment in anything either. but hey, at least its free, right? So is a punch in the stomach.

But I don't hate Canada, NO! I would like to thank Canada for being so liberal AND close to the U.S. that you act as a sort of "liberal magnet" that attracts all the bleeding-heart do-nothings that are really starting to ruin America. I love when people who hate America and love Canada actually move to Canada, talk about win-win! I just wish more would do it instead of doing nothing, but I guess they wouldn't be liberal do-nothings if they actually did something. oh well.

Don't get me started on the US either which sucks hard also, and once the current administration is done with America, it will be a combination of the worst of Canada and America. Well, except our beer will still be way better.

In closing, Canada, you suck hard, but because no country in the world really pays attention to you, no one really notices. The fact that your existence doesn't matter on a global scale is the only thing preventing people from realizing how crappy your country really is. On the other hand America is a world leader and every single country pays attention to us every single day, so it’s very easy to find our many faults and expose them internationally. Please stop being so high and mighty; no one likes ignorant smug idiots. They only thing worse are French ignorant smug idiots.

BTW, milk in bags, WTF?

Thanks for applying for the job of Brownie leader, but it is not needed. We are having fun. You show that sanctimonious is a Canadian trait too. Sheesh.