I hate licking envelopes, always have. So thank god there’s a solution for that now. Remember the company that brought us awesome combinations like baconnaise and bacon salt? Well they’re at it again, and this time, they’re not just making something awesome, they’re solving a problem, the problem of the horrible taste that comes from licking standard envelopes. They’ve managed to make bacon-flavored envelopes, called MMMVELOPES.

Here it is in their own words:

“Technology has given us a lot lately. The car. TV. X-rays. The refrigerator. The Internet. Heck, we even cured polio. But what have our envelopes tasted like for the last 4,000 years? Armpit, that’s what.

So, after thousands of years and kajillions of horrible tasting envelopes licked, we’re happy to report that J&D’s Bacon-Flavored Mmmvelopes™ are here to save the day. No longer will envelopes taste like the underside of your car. You can enjoy the taste of delicious bacon instead.”

I don’t think I’ve sent a letter in a decade, but I just ordered some of these, so you can all expect to receive something in the mail from me quite soon. Is it possible to die from licking too many mmmvelopes? If so, I’m sticking to the bacon jam.