I am just going to cut to the chase. Who the hell would beat who’s ass if they were ever in a heated altercation. Ronald McDonald (“The Clown”) or The Burger King (“The King”). Tough one – I know, right?
For those lucky enough to have seen Spike Tv’s Dealiest Warrior, go and watch another episode because this is not going to be anywhere near as cool. Or even accurate for that matter. Will it be kinda sorta fun though? Hell yeah!
Inspired by the aforementioned Deadliest Warrior, we will basically we will pit McDonald’s “creepy clown in hooker makeup” mascot, against the “almost creepier but in a less pedophilic way” mascot of Burger King.
The battle will be arbitrarily judged based on the following four key elements:
- Short Range Weapons
- Mid Range Weapons
- Long Range Weapons
- Signature Weapon Range
In lieu of actual, harmful, and diabolically constructed weapons, we will be arming the mascots with, what else?, their own menu items. And better yet, this creepy little contest will not take into consideration the taste of any of their arsenal, better yet, the winner for each round will be decided strictly using the health quantification figure CALORIES!!! The higher the chance of a heart attack, the greater chance they stand on the field of battle. *Lightning strikes and a defenseless young virgin screams*
Place your bets now…