find more
Evan Porter

Breaking the News via Twitter

Posted By: on December 30, 2009

Every now and then, something happens in your life that is so monumental, so Earth-shaking, that you have no choice but to share it with nearly everyone you know. The question is, how do you do it?

How do you tell your friends that your mother has died? How do you tell your family that you’re gay? How do you share the not-so-appealing results of your most recent visit to the free clinic?

Well, that’s why God invented Twitter. Not only can you build a large and diverse family via the social networking site, you can also use it to have uncomfortable conversations that you’d rather not have in person.

Here are some tips to help you get the most out of avoiding conflict via Twitter.


Finding out you have a venereal disease can be a humiliating discovery. Still, its important that you come to terms with it quickly. It’s even more important to notify your most recent partner, just to be safe, no matter how uncomfortable it might make you. They have a right to know, just… let them down gently. I might suggest something like this:


Read On
Evan Porter

5 Reasons Television is Better than Movies

Posted By: on December 16, 2009

I’m not sure when it happened. I honestly can’t figure out the exact date, or what incident inspired the transition, but at some point over the past few years, TV became better than movies and, in fact, way more popular than any of these dudes.

Some people claim it has to do with superior writing, quality performances from lesser known actors, compelling characters and storylines, or the connection a long running TV show can build with its audience, but I have some different ideas as to why watching television is a better choice than going to the movies these days.

#1 – Nudity

Boobs used to be the best part about going to the movies. Who could forget those nights when your parents would cover your eyes through the “adult parts,” during family movie night, but guess who was the first in line at Blockbuster when that bad boy came out on  VHS?

Meadow Soprano - Reason #1

Meadow Soprano - Reason #1

News flash: You don’t have to pay $10.50 to see tits anymore. You don’t even need HBO or Showtime for the most part. You should see what FX gets away with these days: more ass shots than you know what to do with is what (Paging Dr. Christian Troy), and we all know ass is the new tits. If you do have the luxury of watching the premium “movie channels” (which has become a huge misnomer), you’re in store for some of the best sex scenes this side of Basic Instinct. All in the privacy of your own home, which is, for obvious reasons, preferable.

#2 – Will Ferrell

It’s nothing personal against Will Ferrell. I think he’s one of the funniest actors of his generation, by far, but God bless him. Hollywood made him a superstar, then promptly pooped all over his career. Producers like to play horseshoes with him. They toss a dozen crap ass scripts at him and make a movie out of whichever one lands closest.

It’s not just about him, though, it’s about the laziness of everyone in Hollywood. You can say the same about nearly every actor in the business. I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe Brad Pitt as Benjamin Button when two years ago he was Achilles. I’d rather watch a nobody really dig into a TV role and truly become that character for five or six years. Of course, they will never get another part ever again due to typecasting, but that’s not my problem.

Read On

TopCultured Legends

How to Link Online and Physical Businesses

Posted By: on October 7, 2013

When you’re developing a business plan, you need to identify an element that makes your company unique and distinguishable from all the others in order to stand out and have an advantage over competitors. There’s Read On »

Art by a 10-Year-Old: “Hulk Smashes the Kardashians”

Posted By: on May 21, 2012

Kids generally love The Hulk. Despite his frightening appearance and demeanor, kids have an instinctive understanding that he’s only going to hurt the bad guys. In this case, the “bad guys” identified by a 10-year-old Read On »

The Valentine’s Day Card from Hell

Posted By: on July 9, 2009

Valentine’s Day is a time to remember your loved ones and acknowledge them through the giving of gifts, flowers, chocolates, and cards. Or, in this case, remind them of certain consequences…

Evan Porter

The Most Annoying Inventions of the Past 20 Years

Posted By: on December 9, 2009

I'm sorry, your Tamagotchi has died

With rapid advances in technology over the past two decades, our ability to create useless and irritating garbage has increased exponentially. Here are some of the worst developments of the past 20 years.

Remember; people actually bought this stuff.

1) Tamagotchis – Hey, here’s a great idea. Let’s make a video game that you have to carry around everywhere you go. Oh, and you can never pause or turn it off. And it will double as a key chain for some reason.

SAVING GRACE: I’m pretty sure Tamagotchis had something to do with the emergence of Pokemon. That, and the fact that the fad was mercifully short lived, is enough for me to forgive the Tamagotchi. At least partially.

2) Big Mouth Billy Bass – I don’t even know what to say about this. What is this? First of all, no one would ever mount a fish on a board like a deer head because it would make your house smell like vagina. Second, I’m pretty sure the early models didn’t have an off button. Why does there seem to be a correlation between not being able to turn something off and how aggravating it is?

SAVING GRACE: We were lucky to get a  pretty catchy McDonald’s commercial out of this.


Blame this man for Auto-Tune

3) Ring-back tones – What am I, too poor to afford an FM radio? Oh man,  it’s so convenient that you have a ring back tone, because normally I would never get to hear this Top 40 song that comes on every station sixteen times a day. I think ring back tones were invented so that when you’re calling someone who sucks, you get distracted by the music and don’t want to kill yourself as much. Only it doesn’t work because then you start to associate your favorite songs with people you hate.

SAVING GRACE: Ring backs do offer you a unique call screening method. If you are calling someone you’ve just met, and they have a ring back tone, hang up and never call them again.

4) AutoTune – This had so much potential until rappers got a hold of it. Use it as an insurance policy during live shows, toss it into the occasional dance song, sure why not. Basing entire albums, though, off of an artist’s inability to sing is where I have a problem. Auto Tune kind of reminds me of the automated check out system at the grocery store. Sure, it’s a marvel of modern technology, but between the repair man, the supervisor, and the installation crew, you might as well just hire cashiers. There’s an analogy in there somewhere.

SAVING GRACE: Auto-Tune the News

Read On

Some of the Hottest Cosplay Chicks

Posted By: on February 16, 2011 on February 16, 2011

15 Hot Chicks Working Out

Posted By: on November 29, 2010 on November 29, 2010
monster tip jar

35 Tip Jars Designed to Make You Give More

Posted By: on June 10, 2009 on June 10, 2009

Art of the Accidental Penis

Posted By: on May 3, 2010 on May 3, 2010

15 Hot Chicks With Glasses

Posted By: on January 3, 2011 on January 3, 2011
hot gamer girl 1

15 Hot Gamer Girls

Posted By: on January 31, 2011 on January 31, 2011

68 Awesome 404 Error Pages

Posted By: on January 24, 2011 on January 24, 2011

Will They Build It? KFC & Krispy Kreme (Luther Double Down)

Posted By: on April 23, 2010 on April 23, 2010

18 Hot Chicks You Can Barely See (Cause They’re Wearing Camo)

Posted By: on January 5, 2011 on January 5, 2011

40 Hilarious Fortune Cookies Fortunes

Posted By: on August 11, 2010 on August 11, 2010

Who Wore It Best: Celebrity Cleavage Edition

Posted By: on November 11, 2009 on November 11, 2009
Ashley Greene in Maxim Magazine

Ashley Greene: The Only Good Thing About Twilight

Posted By: on November 13, 2009 on November 13, 2009

40 Hilarious Fortune Cookies Fortunes

Posted By: on December 5, 2010 on December 5, 2010
sexy kitchen 1

15 Girls You’d Definitely Take Home for Thanksgiving

Posted By: on November 18, 2010 on November 18, 2010

The Ultimate Elisha Cuthbert Gallery

Posted By: on December 7, 2010 on December 7, 2010

30 Loveable Animals Waving “Hi”

Posted By: on October 20, 2010 on October 20, 2010

A Couple $100 Reasons To Hate Celebrities

Posted By: on March 10, 2010 on March 10, 2010

15 Pictures of Santa Getting Arrested

Posted By: on December 13, 2010 on December 13, 2010

12 Hot Chicks Chowing Down

Posted By: on January 17, 2011 on January 17, 2011

20 Homemade Things That Shouldn’t Be Home-Made

Posted By: on March 11, 2010 on March 11, 2010

30 of the Best Cars From Gumball 3000

Posted By: on February 20, 2010 on February 20, 2010